Smart Strategies to Picking A Great Partner

-Authored by a 10-time idiot who has been there, done that, reversed, and done it again

1. GET TO KNOW HIS FAMILY! And not from a future daughter-in-law perspective, because you will surely miss things. It's more like a third-person, investigative approach. Learn how he grew up, and what his childhood was like. Learn about what type of environment he was raised in and how his family dealt with problems/issues. This will be the base of what type of person you're dealing with and what type of family you will be welcomed into, or not welcomed. It happens. But all in all, girl seriously, do not skip this step, do not pass go, do not collect $200

2. DO NOT fall for POTENTIAL, it does not EXIST. Now this is a time saver and a love life secret all in one. A key nugget that needs to be studied. So, let's break it down. The reason why falling for potential is so dangerous is because it is never founded. A wise woman once told me that the 'potential' you THINK you see in someone is just a projection of what YOU would do if you were them. Then we fuck around and throw some imagination and romance on it and now we have full-blown delusion. Once this tropical storm of deception starts, it's hard to come in from the rain. Instead, ask him about his goals and plans for the future and judge if his lifestyle and the steps he is already taking are leading him in that direction. Picking a self-starter, a natural goal-oriented person is always easier. A bottle of 'Actions over words' always cures this disease. Get well soon love <3

3. How EMOTIONALLY mature is he? There is no getting around the reality that Timmy, the love of your life has the emotional stability of a toy car, offering only superficial and fleeting moments of connection. It will follow you throughout your whole relationship. This deficiency in emotional maturity can significantly impact the dynamics of your relationship, as it may lead to misunderstandings, conflicts, and unmet emotional needs. It is crucial to consider how his emotional immaturity may manifest in various situations and how it could potentially affect your overall well-being and happiness in the long run. Choose wisely or act fast!
   

4. Opt for a NATURAL leader. Just a moment, listen to me, hold on. Admittedly, this may not align with everyone's preferences. You might be an independent woman with your own thoughts and pursuits. I understand. I am the same. You might believe you have already charted your course. So did I. However, who would have imagined encountering someone forward-thinking, ready to provide support and stability for the future, and your greatest supporter? Leadership is not solely about enforcing obedience. That, my friend, would resemble dictatorship closely. I'm talking about someone with natural troubleshooting and problem-solving skills. Someone Who has initiative and reliability skills. Treating your relationship like a team-building mission, always make sure you guys win!

5. I understand that he bought you that keychain, BUT YOU DO NOT KNOW HIM! My advice would be before you get too personal with said potential lover, do a background check guys. Check his social media. Do a quick lookup of the information they tell you. This is not a job interview, no one is bringing their resume with their last 3 partners, fond references, and addresses. Rule #1 Assume everyone is telling you what you want to hear. Taking the extra effort to make sure this person is safe, sane, and genuine is quick and easy. Always meet in public areas until you are comfortable and don't make excuses for criminal backgrounds, questionable behaviors, or off vibes. We have the strongest intuition as women, do not ignore it, it's here to help, listen to it.

6. HE SAY SHE SAY. An aspect often overlooked when entering a relationship or dating is one's communication style. Do your way of communicating and theirs align? Are both of you feeling understood and acknowledged? How do they react after difficult discussions? Are they open to receiving constructive feedback? How do they cope with stress? Do they resort to yelling or prefer discussing calmly? Do they withdraw or express their feelings openly? It's crucial to be with someone whose communication style complements yours. When you're together, is communication dynamic or stagnant? Inquiring minds want to know.
   

7. Do some INNER work. I really didn't believe women when they said you have to heal and process and evaluate your decisions BEFORE finding a partner. I thought you could 'heal along the way', 'learn your way into it'. Wrong. When you have certain types of baggage, hurt, trauma, and hardened ways of thinking, babygirl you're only setting yourself up to continue to pick the same type of man, different face. Find out what part you play in the reason for this behavior. By taking the time to heal and understand ourselves better, we can break free from these destructive cycles and make more conscious and empowered decisions when it comes to choosing a partner and being a better version of ourselves.

It is only by understanding ourselves fully that we can create the space for a truly meaningful and authentic connection with a partner who complements and supports us on our journey of growth and healing.

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I hate complicated relationship advice, makes me feel like love is math. But if I had known this blueprint earlier, I could have saved myself a lot of slow songs on repeat and bed rotting

What is your opinion?